Sunday, September 09, 2007

My balogna has a first name and my orange juice has a newsletter

It seems everybody’s got one nowadays. No, not an opinion. A newsletter.

Of course most writers have them. I have a newsletter group – or an announcement group, I suppose. I haven’t tried writing a newsletter because I’m not sure I’d have enough news to fill it up.

My orange juice has no such problems, though. I was having breakfast this morning and reading the back of the carton because it was there, in front of me and I discovered that my OJ has its own newsletter.

To sign up, you just have to go to its website.

Amazing. I wonder if my toothpaste has a website and a newsletter too. Or my cheese.

I’m not being facetious – well, maybe I am a little bit, but I have to ask, how much could orange juice really have to say about itself that it requires a newsletter? What would you get in an orange juice newsletter? Updates – Hi, I’m a little bit more orange this month than I was last month. Thought I should give you a heads up.

Maybe, ‘Pulp contest! Send in your funniest pulp stories and win a car!’

How about, “Citric acid and you. Just the bare facts.”

I don’t I really need that much information about my orange juice? Or any other product in my fridge for that matter? I’ve got the nutrition info panel and I’ve got a customer service number in case the OJ or anything else might not live up to my expectations, but do I really need constant updates about the state of affairs in Orange Juice world?

Maybe I’m jaded. Maybe the modern quest for a constant flow of information about all subjects all the time begs for orange juice newsletters but sometimes I just find it overwhelming.

Do you subscribe to any newsletters for household products? Aside from perhaps the occasional coupon, do you get any value from it? Do you look forward to reading it?
Do you use any product that doesn’t have its own newsletter but should?

I’d love to know. Maybe I’m missing out on a wealth of information on orange juice and I’d hate to be out of the loop.


Jennifer Elbaum said...


Not the newsletter type myself BUT my DH is notorious for calling the 800 number of every product known to man.

Bernadette Gardner and Jennifer Colgan said...

Hey, sometimes you get coupons when you call, even if you don't complain. A friend of mine does the same thing.

Jennifer McK said...

Honestly, the only reason I sign up for newsletters is for contests and supporting other authors I love. That's it.
Worst of all, I don't read them much. *hangs head in shame*
They're nice to get from, say, Christine Feehan who doesn't have a blog, but mostly by the time I get them it's old news to me.
I don't have one. I've resisted having a newsletter and my own Yahoo Group.
We'll see if I can hold out.

Lynn Daniels said...

OMG, this was the funniest thing I've read all day. Thanks for the laugh!

And no, I've never signed up for a household product newsletter. I've emailed companies whose products I've really liked, but never signed up for newsletters. Last thing I need is more stuff cluttering my inbox.