News Flash: Change your socks!

Rant Mode: ON

Yesterday morning I had a minor meltdown while listening to the news. There’s a reason why I avoid televised newscasts and this is it.

Because I live in the NY-NJ Metropolitan area, the current Transit Workers Strike is big news. It doesn’t effect me personally, but a large portion of people living in Bergen County commute to NY and a strike makes their day just that much harder.

The meltdown was not caused by the strike itself, but by the inane necessity of newscasters to report unnecessary and uninteresting things just to fill up their allotted time on screen. I began to notice this tendency to report uselessness around the end of 1999 when Y2K had everyone running for the hills. The daily newspaper published a running list of things to do to prepare for the upcoming emergency when it was believed all computers would instantly stop working because they would not be able to understand that 00 came after 99 in a two-digit date field. The world as we knew it was about to end and we all needed to be prepared for a sudden trip back to the Stone Age. The media helped prepare us by giving us lists of things to do and to pack and to have on hand to help us survive the nightmare when our ATMs, our home PCs and even our cars ceased to function. I understood the necessity of warning people to have some cash on hand in case they could not get money out of their bank for a few days but the topper – the one that sent me over the edge - was the list that explained to people how to keep their food safe from bears.

I kid you not.

Bears. Because apparently, as soon as those computers shut off, all the wildlife was going to turn on us and come rampaging into town to pillage our dwindling supplies of beef jerky and bottled water.

Nothing has changed. During the terror alerts that have occurred every few months since 9/11, the media has reminded us all to have gas masks on hand, water proof matches and plenty of band-aids. I suppose they think it makes people feel safer, but I believe it just adds to the panic and reminds the public that the media thinks of us as total morons.

Case in point: this morning when a well-meaning newscaster began advising commuters on what to do should they find themselves having to walk to work in Manhattan. The first thing on his list was: Have a good breakfast.

That’s when I lost it. I mean, really. People in a major city have just been told their bus or train ride to work is nothing but a fantasy. What do they need to do now? How about telling them about alternative modes of transportation? How about giving them carpooling info, or traffic reports? No. The crack news team who put this report together felt that people needed to be reminded to eat before they left home for what could be a long, cold walk to the office.

GIVE ME A BREAK.

It still irks me just thinking about it. I suppose in that view point, the next thing on the reporter’s list should have been: “Be sure to brush your teeth and pack some extra dental floss in case you have sesame seeds on your cheeseburger bun at lunch. Assuming you make it to lunch since it’ll take you all morning just to get to work.” Maybe he should have advised people to pack a lunch, and a snack, and maybe a thermos of hot coffee, but not too hot, lest they burn themselves – and that would lead to a list of precautions to take before drinking hot liquids. I’m surprised he didn’t remind people to double knot their shoelaces to prevent trip and fall accidents.

The media has often been called Big Brother, but I think we should call it Mommy from now on. It certainly treats us all like we’re infants who cannot think for ourselves.

So on that note: Today’s public service announcement: Change your socks every day. It will make your feet feel better, especially if you have to walk to work.

Rant Mode: OFF