Warning…Warning. The following blog post contains controversial opinions that some individuals may find offensive.
Like friendly fire, friendly spam comes from an unexpected source-someone you think is on your side in the war on unwanted or nonsense e-mails that clog your in-box and waste your time. I’m not talking about the ridiculous ads for Viagraag, Ceealiss, or other wondrous products that will make it looonger and increa$e your enjoiment [misspelling intentional of course to get through your spam filters.] I’m talking about the endless stream of wasted bandwidth sent by friends, acquaintances and co-workers with titles like: For A Wonderful Friend, To All the Sexy Ladies I Know, A Mother’s Prayer, A Funny Story, etc.
I’m sorry. I really am, but these things annoy me even more so than the trash spam because they come from people who I’d like to hear more from than a reconstituted, regurgitated, forwarded, forwarded, forward piece of pablum designed to brighten my day or uplift my spirits. I don’t need to read the latest joke, sob story, plea for my signature on an Internet petition or the infamous little ditty that starts out with a canned message about how wonderful I am and ends with an entreaty to forward the message to 10 more people in the next 12 minutes if I don’t want something bad to happen to me in the next 8 hours. Give me a break.
While some people who think they are ‘keeping in touch’ by forwarding this stuff may be offended, I have to say please spare me. I beg you. I’d much rather get one paragraph from you written specifically to me, about how you are, what’s new in your life, even your views on religion and politics if you’re so inclined to share them, than a two page sob story about a missing girl in Springfield and can I help find her by forwarding this worthless e-mail to everyone I know? Or better yet, would I like to participate in a cool experiment whereby I add my name to a four-page list of names, cross off the three on top, add three to the bottom and then wait patiently for fourteen weeks until my name comes back up to the top and something truly amazing happens. Or maybe I could use a good cry so here’s the following heartfelt essay on the glory of friendship, the joys of motherhood, the peace of Christ, etc. Maybe I’d like to help them get a free gift certificate to their favorite restaurant or help Bill Gates test his new e-mail tracking software [wouldn’t it be cool if this were true? We could all earn a living doing nothing but forwarding e-mails to people who don’t want them!] It goes on and on.
Yada yada. Again, I apologize, but I’d rather know you cared enough to ask me how I am, and tell me how you are, than know you had 10 seconds to add my e-mail address to your forwarding list and send me crap that I delete unread. Our greatest strength, our greatest treasure is our ability to communicate with one another. We can share ideas, forge friendships and learn so much from one another – but only if we communicate new and unique information , not by endlessly forwarding timewasters around the Internet and thinking we’re keeping in touch in a valuable way.
End of controversial message. Sensitive individuals may continue reading from this point forward.
5 comments:
I don't read all that stuff I get. E-mail is definitely changing the way people interact.
The sad part is it encourages the time wasters. I just got another one tonight from someone I'd rather get a personal note from saying how she's doing, than get a forwarded nonsense a-mail that's supposed to be some kind of public service announcement. Gah!
What about urban myths? I finally trained my FIL to stop sending me jokes (most of them were huge and took forever to load on my dialup connection), but he keeps sending me stupid petitions or similar things. I take one look at them, realize they're an urban myth, go to Snopes, and send him the link with a reminder to CHECK SNOPES BEFORE HE HITS SEND. Yet he keeps sending more of the things. Sigh...
Why is it that people believe all that stuff? I've had so many people send me the 'e-mail tracking for Bill Gates' story. They never stop and think how the heck is Bill going to send them this huge check if they don't provide an address or a name? The ones asking to 'please keep this e-mail going' by forwarding it to everyone you know irk me also. Who is actually going to check up and see if the e-mail goes all the way around the world?
Very cool design! Useful information. Go on! » »
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