Monday, March 09, 2009
And the winner is...
The winner of a free download of Rogue Heart is:
Debby Creager!
Thanks for posting, Debby! I have your e-mail addy and I'll be contacting you. Have a great day, everyone!
Friday, March 06, 2009
Release Day! GOING DEEP
Going Deep is one of my spiciest stories - and since I'm in the mood to spice things up even more - I've decided to run an impromptu contest this weekend!
CONTEST!!!
I'll leave this post up until Monday and between now and then, read the excerpt below and leave me a blog comment! I'll choose ONE WINNER on Monday to receive a free copy of my EC book Rogue Theta. [Though each book is standalone, Going Deep takes place on the space station featured in Rogue Theta].

The Excerpt:
The lead male stopped, only inches from Del. His eyes smoldered and Celia stared at him, cowed by the anger in his expression.
“Are you going to defy Meydala’s wishes, Del? We do this on her orders.”
Meydala? What could she have to do with this intrusion?
“In time she will see that this will only increase our suffering in the end.”
“What suffering? Del, what’s happening?” The one he’d called Arnav reached around Del and gripped Celia’s arm so tightly she winced. The other drew a long, bone white dagger from behind the belt of his enviro suit and brandished it at Del.
“We were instructed not to harm either of you, Del, but if you resist, we will have no choice. I can spill your blood or hers. Who will cooperate better if the other is injured?”
Del and the nameless one stared each other down and Arnav wrapped his arms around Celia. Finally, Del relented. His shoulders slumped, but he held his fellow UMEs with a look of such contempt it made Celia shudder. He turned his back on the intruders then and grabbed a breather from the wall. With deft fingers, he removed the cartridge and slipped it into the atomizer.
“Del, what are you doing?” Celia’s blood pounded in her ears. Dear God, could Captain Ganesh have been right about him?
“Last time the mix was incorrect. I’m responsible for your accident and I beg your forgiveness. This time, you will sleep and wake up with no ill effects.”
“Del!” Cold terror laced through Celia’s limbs. She struggled against Arnav’s vice-like grip, but he only squeezed tighter until she began to have trouble breathing.
The other UME stepped back, tucked his blade away and made room for Del to stand in front of Celia.
“You should have run,” Del said, regret thickening his voice. “I wanted you to be safe.”
“Del, please, tell me what’s going on.” She writhed in Arnav’s grasp, desperate to break free, to find answers and to locate the man who’d left her panting his name in ecstasy a few hours before.
Del replaced the newly refilled breather cartridge and fit the device over Celia’s nose and mouth, effectively cutting off any more conversation on her part. Wide eyed, she glared at him, but he refused to meet her gaze.
“Just breathe deeply, Celia. I’ll see that you are not harmed.”
Celia held her breath in defiance. She couldn’t resist for long, though. Del brushed his knuckles over her cheek. “I give you my word, your life is my responsibility and I will not allow anyone to hurt you.”
With that, he placed a hand in the center of her chest. A deep rumbling vibration emanated from his body, through his arm and into her rib cage. The inner pressure on her lungs increased as though a two-ton weight were pressing on her heart. The sensation made it impossible for her to hold her breath, and finally, defeated and terrified, she gulped in huge amounts of the tainted air hissing into the faceplate of her breather.
Del dropped his arm and Celia sagged against her captor. Her body became steadily heavier until she could do nothing more than hang limp in Arnav’s grasp. He and his companion lifted her and carried her to the moon pool.
Celia wanted to scream. She would have panicked but whatever sweet-smelling concoction flooded her lungs left her without the will to fight. She forced her tired eyes to follow Del, who slipped into the pool, then turned to help the others lower her into the water.
“If all goes well, Del Mar, perhaps you can petition the queen to allow you to impregnate this one. I hear human females are quite willing and well skilled when their legs are spread.” Arnav chuckled as he adjusted his grip around Celia’s waist.
Del glared over Celia’s head, and the steel edge in his voice made her shiver. “Speak of Dr. Weston that way again, Arnav, and I will kill you in your sleep.”
Celia had no doubt Del meant every word. She closed her eyes to block out the heartbreaking sight of him and blackness stole over her like a shroud.
***
No questions to answer, nothing to buy, just leave me a comment about the excerpt, or just say hi and you'll be entered to win! I'll announce the winner on MONDAY, MARCH 9th.
To find out more about Going Deep visit EllorasCave.com!
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Pieces of a writer's brain
I tend to leave half formed thoughts all over the place. My brain leaks all over any blank page I find and then sometimes I forget why I wrote something.Case in point today - I was filling up a notebook with the novella I'm working on and I got to the last page in the book and found this snippet of something:
A strip of yellow police tape adhered to the scratched inner surface.
That's it. Just that on a page. I have no idea when I wrote it or what I was writing about. It must have been important since I bothered to write it down, but I have no idea if it ever made it any farther than this scribbled note.
I'm bummed because any time there's police tape involved, you figure the story has to be interesting on some level. Now the question is, do I save this page and hope someday to find the story it was supposed to go to? Or do I let it go, and assume that whatever the scene was either got written or didn't but that either way, it really doesn't matter?
Monday, March 02, 2009
Little Treasures
Now in addition to our regular cabinets, we have a row of small, rectangular cubby holes on top of our cabinets. They are covered by magnetic panels rather than hinged cabinet doors. They're hard to reach, so I use them only to store those few things that I don't want to part with but that I rarely use.
DH found a container of old silverware up there, which was a good thing, because we actually could use some extra silverware. He found cookie cutters and a bag of old kitchen magnets and all the extra serving spoons I keep on hand just in case I have to do a lot of serving.
Plus, he found something that had to have been up there for more than a decade. This little bench was sitting in one of the cubbies - never found before in all my excursions up there. I wonder if a little Faerie might have placed it there?

I have no idea where it came from and I certainly wished I'd found it back when I was making doll houses. It would have been perfect on the porch of my ranch house.
In addition to this little treasure, I got another nice surprise today:
Strange New World received an 85 from Mrs. Giggles!
Strange New World, I feel, is the perfect nibble-sized read in between action-driven romantic urban fantasy romances...
I think I'll imagine myself sitting on my little bench, basking in the glow of a great review.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
I'm in Bizarro World
I don't know how I got here, but I know I never want to leave.
You see, as I sit here blogging, DH is scrubbing the kitchen floor!
I know! It's like...so weird. He's been on a bender all weekend - it started with a trip to Home Depot on Friday night. He came home with a can of paint and roller covers and plastic drop cloths. He proceeded to clean the stove and the microwave, then yesterday morning he painted the ceilings in the bathroom, the hallway and the kitchen.
Now, for some of you, this might seem commonplace. The husband doing chores and home-fix-ups on the weekend is practically an American institution, but in my house my husband touts himself as the 'Anti-Bob Vila'. He is not a do-it-yourselfer by any means, unless he's fixing a computer.
As he was soaking the knobs from the stove and polishing my vegetable plaques from the kitchen wall, I asked what got into him...well it was more like: "Which alien took over your body?"
He told me it was Gordon Ramsay, the F-word chef. Ever since we got BBC America he's been glued to Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares and the F-Word. He can't get enough of Chef Ramsay's explitive laced tough-love and he's suddenly realized that cleanliness is next to impossible in a home with two cats, two kids and a large dog.
I've been trying to help by staying out of his way.
I don't know how long this trip to Bizarro land will last, but I plan to enjoy every minute of it. I'm off now to write a thank you to Chef Ramsay and invite him over for dinner.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Life imitates art!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Bonus for the week!
Coming in March - GOING DEEP by Bernadette Gardner

BLURB:
Forbidden desires plague Dr. Celia Weston, head of the Underwater Maintenance Engineering project on Gavrel Space Station. Celia’s fascination for the bio-engineered aquatic humanoids who care for the habitat’s ocean grows each day. Sleek, strong and graceful, the UMEs have begun to develop patterns of behavior and beliefs that their creators had not planned for. When her attraction to a UME male named Del leads Celia to finally indulge in her long-suppressed sexual fantasies, she endangers her job and the future of the UMEs aboard Gavrel.
In order to save their species and secure the rights they deserve, Del is urged by the leader of his people to use Dr. Weston as a pawn in a political coup. Celia risks everything for the ecstasy of Del’s electrifying touch, but can she convince two races to accept their relationship and work together to save the doomed ocean?
*Going Deep takes place in the same universe as my previous EC releases Rogue Heart and Rogue Theta, but is a standalone story.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
New Release Today!
Available today from Samhain Publishing - is my sexy adventure novella:

Blurb:
While photographing wildlife and landscapes in the stark Nevada desert, Chase Calder is caught in a sudden electrical storm. He awakens a prisoner in a high-security Air Force base under the care of seductive microbiologist, Martina Sanchez.
Calder’s accidental exposure to the Acheron beam—designed to decontaminate areas of overgrown plant life—is supposed to have no side effects, but Martina soon discovers Chase Calder is much more than he seems. His touch not only melts her cool professional resolve, it also melts steel walls. Finally having found the proof she needs to expose Acheron for the danger it presents, she risks all to break the sexy photographer out of the base. Together they flee to safety and find something more dangerous than a super weapon when their passion ignites.
***
A short excerpt from Strange New World
Long, feminine fingers caressed the tense muscles of his neck, and Chase’s heartbeat ramped up in response. The sweet, musky scent of a light perfume teased his sleepy senses, and warm breath laced with mint tickled his ear.
His mind rebelled, too weary to think of anything except dark oblivion, but his libido began to stir.
His cock thrummed to attention when those soft hands grazed his thigh. Sleep could wait. If his woman wanted him…his woman?
“Brett?” The moment her name passed his lips, he remembered. Their divorce had been…acrimonious and mostly his fault, but he still missed her now and then. More so now, with a hard-on straining against his Jockeys.
“Who’s Brett?”
The voice brought him instantly and completely awake. He stared up into mocha brown eyes rimmed with thick, black lashes. Soulful. Sexy.
Before Chase could focus, she brought a pair of thick-rimmed eyeglasses down to rest on her nose, as if she were erecting a shield between his curious gaze and hers.
“Who?”
Her lips, painted a tempting shade of coral, pursed in consternation. “You called me Brett.”
“Sorry. I was dreaming.” Bit by bit, Chase’s senses returned. The warm, fuzzy feeling of arousal lingered, but cold fingers of reality crept into his brain as he took inventory of his surroundings.
Long, fluorescent lights stretched across the stark, white ceiling above him. Square tiles in a familiar shade of institutional green lined the three visible walls. A metal door, set with wired glass, held a heavy locking bar—the kind they put on walk-in freezers. The place smelled like a hospital, but something distinctly sinister flavored the chilly air. Where the hell was he, and how had he gotten here?
“Who are you? What happened to me?” Chase craned his neck to get a better look at the woman. Waves of chestnut hair fell to her lab-coated shoulders. Trim lines of a delicate sapphire blouse peaked out beneath the starched white lapels. A laminated ID badge came into focus, and she answered as he read her name.
“I’m Dr. Sanchez. Martina Sanchez. You’re safe, Mr. Calder, and apparently uninjured. As for what happened to you, I’m hoping you can tell me.”
I’m naked. Chase ruminated on that for a moment. Except for his underwear and a thin paper sheet that covered him from knees to nipples, he wore nothing.
His heart rate increased again when he realized his wrists and ankles were secured to the chrome rails of the bed on which he lay. Instinct forced him to test the bonds. The bed frame rattled, and the sexy doctor stepped back.
A face that made Frankenstein’s monster look friendly appeared in the cross-hatched square of glass set into the metal door. The doctor waved one delicate hand at the apparition, and it disappeared.
“What the hell was that? Why am I tied down?”
“Relax, Mr. Calder. Nothing can hurt you here. The man outside is Sergeant Baker, my bodyguard.”
“Bodyguard? Sweetheart, you’ve got nothing to be afraid of. I’m not going to hurt anybody.” As long as they don’t hurt me first.
Dr. Sanchez placed a cool hand on Chase’s shoulder. A teasing whiff of her perfume momentarily drew his thoughts away from his predicament.
“That’s what we’re trying to determine. Now, if you would answer some questions for me, we can keep Sergeant Baker in the other room where he belongs.”
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know.” He wanted to add that he had nothing to hide, but that would only make it seem like he did. Whatever was happening here was serious shit.
“Good. Now, what were you doing on restricted land?”
To read another excerpt visit Samhain Publishing!
*Warning: This title contains explicit sex, molten metal and a clingy, wet nightgown.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Anyone looking for British Bachelors?
Yesterday I went into my online bank account to check my balance. I have a small checking account that I use just for fun stuff and DD had given me some money because she wanted to purchase something on line and I told her I would use my account. I noticed a slight discrepancy in the balance from what I had in my records so I looked at the transaction history and discovered two charges from Match.com – fortunately along with two credits from Match.com – however, the credits were for slightly less than the charges.
I called the bank immediately and of course now they have to close my account number, give me a new card and start a dispute of the charges – which ultimately amount to $1.22 thanks to those credits, but still, that’s $1.22 I don’t owe Match.com.
The bank rep I spoke to told me in order to find out why the credits are for less than the charges I have to call Match.com...so I asked her if there was a phone number associated with the transactions and she said yes...but it was out of GREAT BRITAIN.
Yeah. I’m not calling England. As much as I like the mother country, I don’t need to be put on hold during an overseas call so some customer service rep can tell me ‘We have no record of your account.’ Since of course they don’t, since I’m not registered with them.
The bank is sending me a form to file a dispute of the charges so I can get my $1.22 back, which should take something like 6 to 8 weeks. Yay! Until I get a new card, the balance I have in the account is, of course, frozen. Sigh.
My feeling is, Match.com of Great Britain at least owes me $1.22 worth of a cute British Bachelor. I’m off to look for one.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
It feels like a bummer even when it's not
I usually abide by it – being careful to examine the pros and cons of anything I might want. I more often than not decide getting something isn’t as much fun as wanting it.
Except when it comes to romance.
Let’s face it, the reason I write romance is because I’m a frustrated shipper. There have been so many love stories I’ve rooted for, then been bitterly disappointed at the way they played out...Mulder and Scully, Sam Carter and Jack O’Neill, Chloe Sullivan and Clark Kent...the list goes on.
Yesterday I was perusing the new TV Guide and I found out that I will be getting something I wished for. And now I’m not sure I’m happy about knowing.
The Guide let spill [and I do have to question why?] that Seeley Booth and Temperance Brennan from BONES will finally be ‘hooking up’ in this year’s season finale. When I read this I said...Oh yay!...oh. Yay?

First of all, what’s the point of dragging out a shippy relationship if you’re just going to spill the beans to TV Guide before it gets fun? Half the enjoyment of being a hopeless shipper is tuning in each week with your fingers crossed that your favorite couple will take another baby step closer to third base.
Don’t get me wrong, for once, it will be nice to get to see a couple actually become a couple rather than having to write fan fic about it. But seriously – now that I know, the hoping, wishing and wanting isn’t as much fun anymore. They might as well just air the finale now and get it over with.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Small BSG Rant
Saturday, February 14, 2009
The perfect gift!
Friday, February 13, 2009
The Devil broke the clock
Yesterday I had to take DD to the doctor. She’s had a really bad cold that morphed into a disturbing cough, so yesterday we spent the afternoon in the pediatrician’s office. In the office they have a very cool playscape where the kids who are not sick are allowed to play. {I’m so glad my kids have outgrown this – I was tired of bringing them home from the doctor with rug burns on their bellies from sliding backwards down the slide which is covered oddly enough by carpet}. Anyway, there were two little boys playing in the playscape where a large wooden clock dominates the back wall of the lower section. The hands on the clock don’t work [never have]. They just flop around lazily because I imagine none of the doctor’s office staff can climb into the small space with a screw driver or a wrench or what have you to tighten the bolt that holds them on the clock.
One boy was trying without success to position the clock hands and when he realized nothing he was going to do would work, he announced: “The Devil broke the clock.”
I chuckled to myself because there are a lot of things a four year-old could have said that would not have been as cute and I thought it was funny that we often blame the Devil when we do things wrong [The Devil made me do it] but you hear it less invoked when something else goes wrong. Like maybe the Devil broke the economy?? There’s a thought.
Anyway after my laugh I started to wonder if this was just the ramblings of a little kid’s mind or if this poor child was being brought up to believe that anything that goes wrong must be the work of the Devil or similar evil forces. Society over the centuries has been obsessed with assigning bad deeds to evil spirits. It explained all types of bad mojo like comets, plagues, shipwrecks, physical and mental illnesses. It was easier than finding out the true cause of a hardship or tragedy. Blame it on evil spirits. Of course many have suffered over the years for those beliefs. After all, if you are possessed by evil spirits, it’s long been considered all right to torture, kill or imprison you. So I had to wonder what kind of disservice is a parent doing to a child by teaching them that the Devil, or evil spirits of any kind is responsible for bad things that happen. Doesn’t that prevent the child then from developing a curiosity as to what is the real cause behind a problem and possibly discovering how to fix it?
Blaming the Devil when things go wrong is, in my opinion, counterproductive since it provides no recourse to prevent them from going wrong in the future.
Do you tend to believe in an evil force in the universe that causes bad things to happen or do you instead believe that things happen in a random manner that is sometimes good and sometimes bad but never actually planned by any intelligent force, whether good or evil?
I know that’s a heavy question for a Friday. Call it mental calisthenics. If it gives you a headache to think about it – blame the Devil.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I can't get enough
Now you’re thinking – oh no. She’s really lost it this time.
You may be right. But in losing my mind I have learned something and for that I must extend an apology to my old friend, Robin.
Years ago on an occasion I was visiting my friend at her home, she was showing me around and we ended up in her finished basement where, like many people, she had a set of shelves for keeping non-perishable supplies – you know, canned goods, paper goods – the stuff you buy when it’s cheap so you don’t have to buy it when it’s expensive. I recall to this day seeing that she had several DOZEN bottles of dish washing liquid on one of her shelves.
So I had asked her, “WTF with all the detergent? Do you like doing dishes that much?”
She laughed and explained that she couldn’t help herself. “When it’s on sale, I have to buy it.”
It was one of those images that stayed with me, and for a long time I wondered why. Then, this weekend as I was trudging downstairs to add my TWELFTH bottle of dish washing liquid to my stash, I realized why it all still seemed so fresh in my head. I’m doing it too.
Of course, how can you resist? This week, Shop Rite had Sun Light on sale for $0.99. PLUS I had a coupon for $0.25 off which they doubled – so it came out to $0.49. You can’t go wrong! Anything that only costs $0.49 these days is worth buying, even if you already have 11 of them.
Yes, I know. I could have put that $0.49 in a high-yield interest bearing account and at today’s rates I’d have...let’s see...$1.50 in 200 years. But if you calculate the average rate of dish liquid usage in my house, in only three short years I could be enjoying that bottle of Cucumber Melon scented Sun Light. Assuming I follow proper stock rotation procedures of course.
You have to weigh your options. So the point is, I’m sorry, Robin. All these years I’ve harbored the secret belief that you were a little bit nuts. Now I know the truth.
Off to wash some dishes.
Sunday, February 08, 2009
This week on: Bargain Hunters!
My friend K and I went to the Dollar Store - can't go wrong there, and lo and behold she came across a bin of trellis yarn.

It's a very thin ribbon-like yarn that makes nice shawls and scarves. Normally it sells for [I kid you not!] $6.99 a skein. At a dollar a skein, you can't go wrong, so I bought six!
I had bought one skein a while back just to try it out in the blue ice color and made a really cute scarf using my Knifty Knitter. The scarf goes with my blue sweater - this time I bought the dark jewel colors [shown in the picture] and a lighter rainbow color and some super thin black and silver color. Here's a picture of the scarf I made:

It comes out very stretchy and mesh-like. It's a bit scratchy so it's not anything you wear for warmth, but it sparkles so it's a nice accessory.
I'm going to try for some thinner, longer ones that maybe DD can use as belts with her jeans.
And no, I didn't do any of that WIP work I was going to do today. But in my defense I DID think about writing on the way home from food shopping. Know what that got me? Thoughts about another WIP to work on. I'm going to go clear my head with some knifty knitting.
Saturday, February 07, 2009
It's a conspiracy
This weekend was supposed to be one of those 'catch up on everything' weekends. Everybody is out but me - and I actually like it that way. DD had a sleepover which spilled into a birthday party today. DS and DH are at the NY Comic Con and I'm home with BIG plans to do the laundry and sit down with all my WIPs spread out around me and decide which one deserves to be finished first.
So I started by taking down the kitchen curtains to wash because the cats have made a mockery of them. Did that load, straightened up the house, went through all the superfluous paperwork on my desk, paid a few bills. Then I tossed in another load of laundry and folded towels, checked my e-mail etc. Now comes time for the third load and as I'm walking down the basement stairs I see wet cat footprints.
Hmm.
So I have to wonder, who has been doing what and why. I follow the wet footprints to a puddle on the basement floor. A big puddle. Great. Something is leaking and it has to do with the washing machine. Which means I can't do any more laundry until I find out what's wrong or buy a small canoe for getting around in the basement.
Hugh SIGH.
I suppose I should look at this as the universe telling me to forget the laundry and sit down and work on my stories...but really it just seems more like the universe is laughing its butt off at my expense - and by expense I mean whatever I will have to pay the plumber to fix the frakkin' leak.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Another clunker in the romance department
I know - I shouldn't really complain about any movie that was nominated for a Razzie award (nor should I have watched one) but when something is billed as a romantic comedy, it should at least warrant a look see.
Not so for My Best Friend's Girl with Kate Hudson and Dane Cook. I'm not going to mention the crude humor or vulgarity as negative points because these are in fact listed on the DVD cover as enticements for people to plunk down their hard earned cash. I'm going to just concentrate on the structure of the 'romance.'
The story revolves around Cook's character, Tank, who makes a nice side living terrorizing women into running back to the boyfriends they've dumped. He shows them how good they had it by being the date from hell. When his best friend/cousin Dustin asks for his help in getting the girl he loves, Alexis, [Kate] to realize he's marriage worthy material, Tank is reluctant, but he finally agrees to pull out all the stops.
What follows is the predictable part - Tank meets Alexis, woos her and discovers she's hard to scare away. She likes his vulgar music, doesn't balk at spending the evening at a strip club, and meets him insult for insult. She also ends up in bed with him. Naturally Tank falls in love with her.
Here's my beef - in the beginning, Dustin tells Tank that Alexis is his 'angel.' He adores her. Okay, fine, maybe he does - but later Tank comes to agree with Dustin. He sees Alexis as an angel, a girl so special he's willing to change his whole way of life to be with her. Sounds nice - BUT - I had to ask, what, why and how? Alexis is never shown as being anything special. Aside from being blond and perky she shows no 'angelic' qualities. Her relationship with Tank revolves around her texting him for 'booty calls' then kicking him out so she can get her beauty sleep before work in the morning. He seems to find her endearing because she's so much like him.
My next complaint is about Tank himself. Sure the redeemed hero is a great theme. Take a bad boy and humble him by throwing him together with the woman who turns him into a different man. That works. Except when it doesn't. You can make a hero too unlikable. Trust me, it's been done many times. Tank has made a career out of treating women badly for the sake of the men who want them back. He's not used to being a hero - and in this movie, he never gets a chance to be. His big 'redemption' comes when he takes Alexis on a proper date, then leaves her chastely at her door at the end of the evening, showing he can be a gentleman even when his date doesn't want him to be.
Poor Dustin is left in the dust by his 'angel' and his 'best friend' and he doesn't even get to pick up the pieces when Tank decides Alexis is too good for him and therefore he must work twice as hard to push her away. Tank descends to his lowest depths when he ruins Alexis's sister's wedding and that debacle accomplishes his goal. Now we've seen the 'hero' at his worst. Digging himself out of this hole is a monumental task that, trust me again, he's not up to.
How does the whole thing resolve itself? In typical movie fashion - SPOILER ALERT - the plot is wrapped up in the last few minutes. Tank tries talking to Alexis. That doesn't work. So he gives up. In the Epilogue scene which takes place 3 months later, Alexis locates Tank in a resturant, seemingly on a date with another woman [way to get over the love of his life] and she makes a ruckus which ends with them falling into each other's arms. Roll credits.
There you go. Would this fly in a book? I can't say it hasn't been done, but seriously - a true romance hero needs something serious to redeem him after he's hurt the heroine. He needs a grand gesture, a major sacrifice. He can't just be sitting around waiting for her to decide he's not so bad. A romance heroine needs a special spark that makes her worth all this sacrifice. Having pretty hair and nice legs isn't enough to make readers [or an audience] like her enough to care if the hero falls in love.
I know there are plenty of romance novels that get turned into movies - but mightn't it be a good idea if anything billed as a 'romantic comedy' was required to have a romance writer on staff? At least then we could hope for some true romance and real redemption.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Questions for my cats

2. Why do you sleep in doorways?
3. Why, when you have access to a twin, a double and a queen size bed, do you prefer to take naps on the kitchen counter?
4. Why do you like to chew on plastic bags?
5. Why do you like to lie on the printer?
6. Why will you only drink from the dog’s water bowl?
7. Why do you ignore the scratching post?
8. What have you done with the three dozen toy mice we bought you?
Sunday, February 01, 2009
When there's no story...
To fill up some of the boring hours between dinner and the airing of tonight's post-Superbowl episode of The Office, I watched The Duchess starring Ralph Fiennes and Kiera Knightly. The movie runs 109 minutes and feels like about 3 hours. Perhaps I missed some important part, but in my estimation it also seemed to have no point.
Don't get me wrong, the costumes are fabulous, the locations dazzling. 18th Century England is a period of pageantry and fascinating social structure - but beyond the hsitorical value of the film, I found nothing.
The story follows the dismal marriage of Georgiana, Duchess of Devonshire. A well-known figure in politics and fashion of her time, she seemed to be a foreforunner of the modern celebutante...loved by the public for her clothes, her charm and her defiance of certain social conventions. Interesting enough...but what left me feeling bereft was the evolution of the character. She's cited on the cover of the DVD as being 'fiesty, cool and scandalous' and in the 'special features' that come with the film, principals discuss how courageous and triumphant she was as a character.
And I said, huh? Throughout the story, the Duchess seems to be little more than a victim of the stringent rules of the ton. Basically sold into marriage to the joyless, emotionally stunted Duke, she spends the film alternately trying to please him and doing her own thing, which of course leads alternately to wrenching heartache and private disgrace. She never enjoys a defining moment in her life when she puts her 'power' or her life experiences to good use. She never truly prevails.
It's movies like this that make me appreicate romance novels - because in a romance novel, it's inherent that the heroine's struggles amount to something in the end. To follow a story where the main character merely subsists is truly disappointing.



